The Decision to Grow Our Family

I’ve mentioned our dilemma on whether or not to grow our family a few times before, (HERE, HERE and HERE)   and as I’ve shared, we are pregnant! So, obviously we came to the conclusion to go for it, and I have received some inquiries as to how we came to that decision. So, I thought I would share.

It is a decision we had contemplated, prayed over, cried over, and deliberated for over 18 months. We have two wonderful, healthy children already. A girl and a boy. Both out of diapers. Both sleeping well. Both becoming pretty independent. We could have easily gone forward with life and been so happy.

But there was that one little feeling. One big feeling, actually. One big thought that consumed our minds.

Should we have another? It was the question we talked about almost every day. It was what we asked for in prayer requests. It was the topic we asked veteran parents for advice over. It is what consumed our minds.

There came a point where The Hubby received the clarity he had been looking for.

Yes. Yes, he wanted a baby.

He wanted to give our children the gift of another sibling and to bless our family with one more to love.

And he was certain.

I, on the other hand, still wasn’t there.

But he didn’t put any pressure on me and said that he would support however I felt.

But knowing that having one more baby was on his heart definitely put another element on the table.

About a month or two later, I joined a women’s bible study. And this was the BEST bible study I had ever been a part of. I immediately felt a connection with these women. We were all able to open up, share what was on our hearts, support one another, and love one another all while coming together under His word.

It was AWESOME.

And I looked forward to it every single week.

One week, my indecision on whether or not to grow our family came up. Seeing the passion, confidence, and wisdom seep out of these women as they shared their thoughts and advice truly brought me to tears.

While it is something I have heard before, the biggest thing that I left that room remembering is that I will never regret having another. But I WILL regret not. Especially if it has been on my heart so much.

I think I cried all the way home that day.

I talked with The Hubby about my experience that day and he gave me the kind of smile that told me that he knew I was coming around.

A few weeks later I went on a jog and once again broke down.  Nothing new, nothing that hadn’t been cried over before.

And a few days later, fater a lot of reflection, I sat down with The Hubby for a little talk and revealed to him how I was feeling.

That yes! I too wanted one more!

That if I was feeling this torn up about it for this long, that it must mean something. That if I was still having my crying jog sessions, that it must mean something. And that if put in a situation to be surrounded by so much motherly wisdom, it must mean something.

And The Hubby couldn’t have agreed more. And HOORAY! We had FINALLY come to a decision and were both ecstatic about it!

Because this is our last, I want to document everything. I want to remember everything. So, prepare yourselves and get ready to join this journey with us! We are PUMPED!

Our whole family is. And I find little photos like this all around the house and it just confirms what had been in our hearts all along. We are meant to be a family of five. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by!