If Only I Could Take the Pain Away

There seems to be nothing that hurts worse than watching your children in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Yesterday was Calvin’s circumcision… and Oh. My. I had no idea the little surgery was so….. brutal! I mean EGAD!!!

I was incredibly nervous before it even began…

In the little operating room I was asked to put teeny, tiny, sweet, calm, precious, innocent Baby Cal down on the table under the bright light, and all I could focus on were the straps. That was enough to get my emotions running right there. Silly me thought the straps were to hold his head/neck down and I was starting to question what kind of operation we were undergoing there.

No no. The straps were for his itty bitty legs. 🙁 So even if he tried, he didn’t stand a fighting chance. Thankfully for us all, he was extremely calm while being strapped in and all I could do was well up while thinking this poor, sweet baby doesn’t have a clue as to what is about to go down.

The worst part for Baby Cal was the numbing shot. Shots, actually.That needle was gigantic and the poor little dude had to be pricked in a few different areas. Baby Cal cried, I cringed, and The Hubby REALLY cringed.

For the actual surgery part, Calvin was a champ. He’d start to wimper, but I just stayed down by his face, holding those teeny tiny hands and shhhing in his little ears while trying not to cry myself. Every so often I would glance up in horror at what was actually happening. I don’t know what I thought in my mind as to how the procedure was done, but it wasn’t anything like I saw.

I will spare you the details. But it reminded me of something that would be shown in one of the “Saw” movies.

My Hubby, trying not to hurl, kept Gwyneth occupied in the corner. I felt it was better that I be the one with Calvin during this little operation, as I couldn’t imagine what it would be like for a male to watch another mini male get cut open like that.

During this time I was incredibly hot, starting to get a little woozy, and was doing everything I could to hold back the tears. My two-year-old daughter was in the room and I didn’t want her to see her mommy upset. The doctor even asked if I was doing okay.

“About okay as I can be.”

About ten minutes (that seemed like an incredibly long time to be working on that area) later and it was all done. My little Tootise Pop had survived, and so had I…. barely. And The Hubby looked pale. And Gwyneth was happy with her new sticker.

It’s true that as a parent you wish you could take away your child’s pain. Although it wouldn’t have been possible for me to go through my son’s little surgery for him, I did find myself thinking, “Ahh! He can’t be going through this! I’ll take the pain! Cut my nipple or something!”

He seemed to be a tad fussier last night but is doing fine so far today. 🙂

Happy Tuesday!