He starts in the home

I don’t often talk about religion or faith.

In fact, it is rare when I do. But when I feel something, something that just catches me off-guard and sends that strange  shock-wave of tingles through my body, it means something.

Something that maybe some of you have felt before, too.

Every month our church holds a baptism for those who wish to give their lives to Christ. And this past Sunday was one of those services.

The lights were dim, the band engulfed the room and each one was broadcast on the big screen to be seen by all.

And on this particular Sunday, I was overcome.

I was overcome with such an intense emotion that I could not stop.

As the young and old sat in the water, giving their lives to the Lord, I was flooded with tears.

And I couldn’t wipe them away fast enough.

Here these people were, in front of hundreds of others, proclaiming their promise. One of the most important promises of their lives.

And then I saw a little girl.

Maybe eight years old. Sitting in the water and clutching her mother’s hand. And the mother was crying. Bawling. As were the other loved ones surrounding the girl as she was being prayed over.

This is when I lost it.

Because I want this.

I want my children to walk with the Lord and grow up knowing Him. I want them to choose God.

I want them to trust in Him and pray to Him and look for guidance in Him.

And I want to be right by their sides.

Holding their hands as they take this journey.

And for me to do this, I think I first need to take the plunge.

I need to give MY life to Him and to open my arms to His grace.

And my inner-being tells me that my own baptism would begin this journey.

So I have been thinking about it. A lot. Wondering if… hoping that I can go through with it. That I can get up there in front of so many strangers, wonderful strangers at that, and accept Him.

But in all honesty, I am scared.

I am scared that if I go through with it that I will let someone down. Him? My family? I’m not sure.

What if I don’t pray enough? What if I don’t read the bible enough? What if I don’t live up to the expectations I have set for myself?

I think this is my biggest obstacle right now. Hoping I’m not a let down.

With all of that said, I know what I want for the future of our children.

And this starts in the home.

Our home.