Do you ever have one of THOSE days?
The horrible, no good, very bad kind?
Yeah.
I had one of those the other day.
It started out at a cabin on the lake.
How could that be bad? you might ask.
Well, that was actually very nice. It was the following events that made it pretty bad.
It all started the night before when The Hubby became hot and opened the window in our room, not realizing what that may do in the morning.
Well, Baby Cal woke up to a bright light shining right on his face, thus waking an hour earlier than normal.
But, we were at the lake, so I really couldn’t complain.
We were leaving that morning, though, so after cleaning up I drove the kidlets home while The Hubby went to work. I relied on GPS to get me home which resulted in being a mistake.
Ol’ jackass GPS decided to take me on a little thirty minute detour down deserted roads where I was certain baby snatchers were lurking. I locked the car doors and sped down those roads like a mad-woman, leaving a large trail of dust behind me.
Thankfully, we made it home safely, though about an hour late for Cal’s morning nap.
During nap, I cleaned up more than usual since company was coming over, even working up a little sweat, and then went outside to play with Gwyn.
Cal woke up and I fed the kids lunch and the usual routine of food-throwing and food-cleaning occurred. Fish on the floor. Yogurt down tummies. Sandwiches licked and discarded. After clean-up I learned our company had to reschedule, so I threw the kids in the car and rushed out to Walmart to do some much-needed grocery shopping, about a twenty-minute drive. I was so tired by then that I felt my eyelids becoming very heavy, wanting to close.
There is a Starbucks right next to that Walmart, and I decided that on the way home I would grab a drink to give me a pep in my step in order to get through the rest of the day . I knew I couldn’t get it before the store or my kids would be pawing for it the whole time, ultimately resulting in me slamming it down, thus not enjoying it at all.
I RACED through the store while continually instructing Gwyn to sit down in the cart and not smush the food while also simultaneously pulling Cal’s legs through the cart leg-holes as he tried to climb out of the buckled seat, crying in frustration each time he failed.
I sang silly songs, acted a fool as I pointed to random grocery items and made race-car noises to get through the store scream-free as I threw things in the cart.
My kids began to lose it when I remembered I had two Dum Dum suckers in my purse. I whipped those bad-boys out to get through the rest of the trip and was almost finished when Cal dropped his on the ground.
I stared at it in horror for about .3 seconds as I glanced back and forth from Cal to it, seeing his face become fierce.
Now, this is utterly disgusting.
But, I was exhausted and desperate.
To cease a meltdown, I quickly picked that sucker up…. and sucked on it, swirling it all around my mouth, thinking I’d be removing all the germs before giving it back to Cal.
I apologize if you just ate lunch.
But I was sweaty and panicked.
It worked, and Cal went merrily on his sucker-sucking way while I checked out.
While in the parking lot, Gwyn fought me about getting into the car, ultimately hitting me. I informed her that she would be going to time-out as soon as we got home. This, as expected, created a full-blown sob-fest.
Once I managed to squeeze her into the car I decided I definitely deserved a Starbucks now even though nap-time was quickly approaching.
Gwyn, realizing we were going through a drive-thru got all hyped up and requested a “lemondade,” which I told her she could not have due to her behavior.
She threw a major fit, so much so that the woman taking my order could barely make out what I was trying to say.
I ordered the kids two ice-waters, something they enjoy getting in “special cups” and a blended frappuccino for myself.
Since that was only my second time to that part of town, I still relied on my GPS for directions, and once situated, we were on our way.
About fifty feet away from the Starbucks, Cal dropped his straw and started screaming. I looked back and realized it was too far to reach, so I begrudgingly decided to give him my straw and just wait until I got home to have my beverage.
After reaching back to give Cal my straw, while driving mind you, I looked up to see that I just passed a cop on a four-lane highway.
And yep, he pulled me over.
Now, whenever I get pulled over, which is not often, I never pull the sob-story to try and get out of a ticket.
I just can’t do it.
Instead, I just handed over my license and registration while wanting to wave a white flag out my window.
He informed me that I was going 65 in a 55 when I “passed him” and handed over a nice ticket.
And my kids were little angels the whole time we were stopped, not prompting any sort of pity from the cop.
Perfect. Juuuuuuust perfect.
Before taking off for home, I looked down and noticed my Starbucks beverage had melted.
Defeat.
Once I got home I immediately put Gwyn in time out, and over the screaming fit, I downed a large cookie. I realized this is becoming a stress reliever and decide I need to do something about it.
Another time.
Once everyone was calm, the kids and I went outside to play for a bit before nap. Nap time came, all went to bed just fine, and I finally sat down on the couch to rest.
This was when I realize I never unloaded the groceries from the hot car.
I bolted to the garage and discovered the refrigerated items were warm. I thought for a split second about still keeping them since I paid an extra $113 for a speeding ticket in order to get them, but ultimately frustratingly threw them away, as the last thing I needed that day was to clean up spoiled milk vomit.
Once again, I took a seat and my eyes began to close.
All of a sudden I heard a loud-ass lawn mower rev its engine and go to town. I secretly cursed our back neighbors for mowing their lawn during nap-time and prayed that it ended soon.
Well, it didn’t, and then the dogs started to bark. I immediately jumped up to go calm them down when I realized OUR lawn was the one being mowed.
Since we don’t have a lawn-mower at this house yet, The Hubby hired someone to come over which I wasn’t aware of. With the lawn-mower blasting and dogs barking, Cal ultimately woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep.
Wanting to collapse, I fetched him and glared out the window at the lawn-boy.
The rest of the evening went fine, normal, I suppose, other than The Hubby working late, not coming home until after bed-time. I laid in bed that night, eyes closing immediately, and I knew that tomorrow would be a better day.
It had to be.
Right?
At least I knew I wouldn’t be licking any more salmonella suckers, or whatever diseases are lurking on Walmart floors.
