We begin the episode with a tribute to one of the contestants , Eric the Explorer, who passed away after filming ended and it just sets a sad tone. I truly feel sad for his loved ones.
The episode then opens with a little background story of Andi, The Bachelorette, and we re-learn how she is an attorney, she quit her job to go on this adventure, and we see her talking with her parents who seem open to it all, moreso than when she brought The Pabs to her home last season.
Andi then steps into a boutique to do some shopping and I can only imagine that it’s on The Bachelor’s dime and I become envious.
And then she is shown frolicking on the beach, by herself, which just doesn’t happen in normal life and then I don’t become envious anymore because that’s just awkward.
Andi then shows up to the mansion, and did you know that they decorate each season to fit the personality of The Bachelor/Bachelorette? Back to being envious…
Andi’s sister shows up to help her get ready for the first night. She has two dresses to choose from and the one she tries on I just say no to. Not flattering on her bod. She is hot-to-trot and that thing looked like a decoration at Gwyn’s gold and pink birthday party.
Oh thank goodness. She chooses a different dress and it is gorgeous.
The first limo pulls up and Marcus, the Sports Medicine Manager, steps out of the limo. They have a so-so encounter and Andi comments on how he is hot. So, good for you, Marcus. I’m not impressed.
Next up is Chris, The Farmer. He seems nice. Very squinty. I am wondering if he normallyw ears glasses but didn’t want to for this first encounter.
JJ, the pantstrapeneur (still confused by this) is up next and he’s a bubbling jar of gummy bears. He’s got the nervous laugh and reminds me of a puppet for some reason.
Marquel, the Sponsorship Salesman, comes out next and he claims to have brought his A-game while wearing a bright pink gingham shirt and I just wonder what team he is playing for. (??)
Tasos- the wedding coordinator, brings a lock and key and they throw the key into the pond, similarly done on a famous bridge in London. Cute.
Cody, the personal trainer, pushes the limo up the driveway and I just think it is soooo lame. Now he’s all sweaty and out breath and cannot talk. Fail. AND his collar is popped and I just can’t take it.
Steven, the snowboard product developer, is up next he is adorable. But, he looks like he could maybe be her younger brother and she calls him “Cali- boy” which annoys me.
Rudie, an attorney, presents her with some attorney humor and she seems to find it semi-cute.
Carl, the firefighter, gives Andi a little globe gift and it’s cute.
Jason, the urgent care physician, tells her right away that he is a doctor (lame) and he says that he can make a diagnosis just by looking at somebody. He then says, “I think, I think that you have a fever because you look pretty hot.” and it is is LAME!! SO LAME!
Nick V., Software sales executive, steps out and they basically just give each other the lookover saying how nice they each look and then he goes inside.
Dylan, the accountant, is so nervous he forgets what he wants to say and it’s petty cute.
Patrick, the advertising exec, brings a soccer ball and then kicks it out of the area commenting on how he was a soccer player, but that he’s not like the last bachelor. Sorry, Juan Patrick, that’s been done.
Emil, the helicopter pilot, looks a little bit like a mafia hit man and he tells her his name is like Anal…yeah, did you read that right?! He said his name is like ANAL, but with an M. Amal. Anal Amal. Oh boy. Oh butt. Oh boy.
Brett, the hairstylist, brings out a large lamp that he stole from the hotel and I don’t think Andi finds it very amusing. She would like to return it right away. The man just loves lamp. Plain and simple.
Chris, the tax accountant, gets out and sprays champagne everywhere saying he wanted to celebrate Andi being the bachelorette and I just dont think she is interested AT ALL.
Ron, the beverage sales manager, is also from gingham city.
Bradley (Brahhhhhdley) the opera singer tells her right away that he sings and wants to serenade her. I mean, technically I have never been to an opera… but… I just don’t see that as a turn-on? Am I wrong?
Josh B, a telecommunications marketer, is just so-so and seems a little short for Andi. (Ahem! Gingham.)
Nick S, the pro golfer, rolls up on a golf cart and what he is lacking in hair he makes up for in personality. Fun guy, here.
Brian, a basketball coach, is red in the face and I just imagine myself being the same way.
Andrew, a social media marketer, tells her he thinks Andi and Andrew sound nice together. Awww..It must be love…
‘
Mike, a bartender, has an awkward encounter when he tries to role-play he and Andi meeting for the first time in a different setting. She does the pity laugh and I know in her head she is thinking, WTF, ABC?
Eric, The Explorer, does something very sweet and gives Andi something he got from the Andes mountains from a little girl who told him to give the dolls to his gf, but he didn’t have one at the time. Ugh, sad.
Mark Cubin… Ahem..Josh M, a former pro bball player, is all teeth and spray tan. She seems interested. Doesn’t he look like he is a younger Cubin?
Fast-forward to Andi and the men interacting inside.
Andi talks to Josh M, Cubin, and she is all giddy giddy gumbo. She claims he is exactly her type.
Marquel then has a little cookie tasting session with Andi and I am sold. Like, dream date here, people. I LOVE cookies! Homemade ones. MmMmMmm..
Fast-forward to some DEERAMA and Chris, from Emily’s season (right?) shows up with roses and wants in on the action. My guess is the guy just wants to be on the show again because he left with a bad rep.
BraHHHhdley starts singing, the dudes size each other up, and man crushes start forming.
Juan Patrick and Andrew discover they have a lot in common. To the camera, Andrew says “Patrick and I actually get along very well. The guy dresses well, he’s very suave and I feel like we have a lot in common.” Juan Patrick then says, “I feel as if Andrew and I are a little bit on a different level than some of the other guys.” And then they ask each other out on a date.
Okay, no. That didn’t happen. But it should have.
Chris Harrison then tells Andi there is a guy there wanting to crash the party and she politely tells Chris to send him home because it’s not fair to the other guys. GONER! Good. He is lame. He refuses to go. Looks lame. And they make him leave.
Andi professes her attraction for Marcus and I am like huh?! She repeats over and over how hot he is and I’m still like HUH?! Our tastes are very different.
Andi gives the First Impression Rose to Nick V and he genuinely seems surprised and sweet. I’m starting to like him.
Fast-forward to the first rose ceremony and it’s rather dull. No name slip-ups. She does give one to Cody, the personal trainer, and again I am we thinking we just don’t have the same taste.
She ultimately ends up sending home all three of the long haired dudes, Anal Amal, Rudie the Attorney, and Josh B. who gives Andi a super short hug and then vents outside using profanity. Which just means she made a good decision to send the loser home!
And that was it!
So which ones do you think are dads? There is always at least one. Any guesses? I’m going with Carl and Juan Patrick.
I look forward to tonight when the “real” interactions and drama take place.
Thanks for stopping by!
