This is going to be one of those posts that is going to contradict one of my pet peeves and is even something I have posted about before, but now rooting for the other side… kind-of.
Wow, could that be any more confusing?
Stay with me.
In summary, I have always found it slightly annoying when people would say to me, “enjoy every minute of it (parenthood), it goes by so fast!”
And my argument has always been that it’s okay for you not to enjoy every minute of it. It’s okay not to enjoy the sleep-deprivation, the tantrums, or the heartache when your child is hurting. That you don’t need to feel guilty for not cherishing every second. (I actually wrote a post on this, and you can see that HERE.)
Now. Here is where I become a slight hypocrite.
When our first two were born, we lived in an 1100 square foot mobile home. Our budget was TIGHT. My husband was going back to school and I was staying home with our two babies which meant we made the most out of what we had. I watched our budget closely, and our activities usually consisted of those that were free; parks, libraries, friends’ houses.
We each still had a car, had enough to eat out every now and then, and to live comfortably; but we were living month-to-month and there weren’t a lot of extras.
My husband was also in school full-time in a very rigorous program and we had two tiny little babies in the house and I had no idea what I was doing as a mother. I found myself in tears a lot.
And now, about eight years later, I look back on those times with a warmth in my heart and remember amazingly fond memories. I remember the friendships I built during that time. The many “firsts” we experienced with our children in that tiny home. The first DIY project we ever did together.
The memories of the hard times have taken a back seat to the fond memories. And I am beginning to think it might always be that way… or at least I hope so.
I hope that no matter what tough situation we may face, that when looked back upon, the light outshines the dark.
If you are going through a hard time, a tough situation, or anything troublesome, my hope is that there is also something good going on in your life and that THAT is what you remember during that time. Whether it’s the simplicity during the stressful times, or the great friends you met after moving away from what you knew, or the baby kisses after a night full of cries… Hold on to whatever that may be and squeeze tightly, my friend. It could end up being a cherished time in your life and a wonderful memory.
This whole thought is like the sister to “cherish every moment; it all goes by so fast!” and for that, I want to slap myself for even going there, but after reflecting back on our past this past weekend and talking through some pretty amazing memories with shit-eating grins, it all just came full-circle, and I am so thankful for our time in our little mobile home, even with all of the stressful situations.
I loved that house. I loved the simplicity. And I loved our life back then.
These were some of the first home decor pieces I ever made. I was so stinkin’ proud of them, and still am!
As always, thank you for stopping by, friends.
<3 Shannon
I loved reading this post! It totally resonates with me right now! I’m constantly telling myself to be present in the moment so I can look back and know I cherished every last smile, tear, milestone and memory. It’s the journey that gives us perspective and with that a grateful heart. That is truly how I feel now.. grateful! Thank you for reminding me of that!
Awww love this, Cass! It is SO about the journey! It’s what makes it whole! I just adore you so much!
Thanks so much for sharing this touching story. Hope all is well with you and your family! Your story has really inspired how I deal with tough times – going to cherish the good moments and look back with a smile.
I am so glad to hear it, Leanne! Thank you!
An inspiring post. You’ve definitely lived and learned.
It’s a continual process!
Aww this was such a sweet post. It gave my some nostalgic feelings, even if I wasn’t there haha! I can’t imagine being in that situation. You guys are so strong!
-Marielle
http://www.mariellethinks.com
Awwww! I love hearing that! Thank you!
Such a great point! I look back on really stressful times in my life (like when my boyfriend and I had just moved in together and were crammed in a tiny room in a house full of strangers and were totally broke, or when I was living on my friend’s couch), and really there was also some magic in those moments and life was kind of an adventure. I also think we naturally make meaning and construct narratives out of the past, and usually (at least for me) the good outweighs the bad.
YES! All of this, yes! Finding that little bit of good can be so healthy. 🙂
I am of the belief that you should cherish every moment but I also don’t think it’s necessary to miss the sick nights of my babies coughing up all night long or the messy diapers, or the teething. Both of my boys were bad with the teething. In so much pain. All the time. Why would I cherish that? But I do cherish all of the memories and I do believe that no matter how much you try to enjoy every minute, it’s impossible because of the fact that it goes so fast. Now they are about to be 17 and 12 and I love looking back at all the good things my boys brought to my life. Their first steps, first words, and so on. And I also remember our first home as well. Many fond memories that definitely out weigh the dark.
Ahhhhh yes, sooo many good memories!!
Thank you for the inspiration and wise words, well said!
Thank you very much!!
I love this. Parenthood is such an awesome journey!
It SO is!!!!
Such a great story. Many parenting stories are filled with up and downs and that’s just a normal part of life. Parenting is the hardest job that we will ever do, but its all worth it t.
So very worth it!
So inspiring. Thanks so much for sharing!!!