Hello! Welcome to another week of The Bachelor recap! Let’s jump right in.
This week Jimmy Kimmel joins the ladies and he is in charge of planning the dates and is a tag-along as well.
The first date card arrives and it is for Kaitlyn Mileymouth.
And because Jummy Kimmel planned the date, instead of an extravagant date as everyone had expected. they go to Costco. And are instructed to get a 2 pack of beef jerkey. a size 33 pair of jeans, a tub of mayo, an office chair and enough ketchup to fill a hot tub.
Real key items.
So they go through and get these items while playing in the store.
Once back at the house and waiting for Jimmy, they kiss a little and it’s awkward.
She does this weird lips-pucker-out-far thing, like you would do to maybe kiss a child who was sick and you don’t want to catch their germs.
I am almost thinking she’s not really that into Chris. When she stops early because she “hears a car door” this seals the deal for me. She’s here to be on TV.
Jimmy arrives and he is his usual self asking questions to make any person sweat.
He asks Mileymouth that if she makes it to the end and she and Chris are watching this play back and see that Chris has hooked up with all three women in the fantasy suite if she would be be upset with him. And she says no.
And I yell “LIAR!!!” at my TV.
Becasuse Liar!
She then goes on to say, “You can’t take out a car without test driving it.”
tWhich doesn’t really make sense but I got what she was trying to say and to that I say #Weebitsleezy
Anyone also really notice Chris’ man-giggle during this Kimmel scene?
Anyway, she got the rose even after more awkward kissing.
Fast-forward back to the house and Jillian is pictured working out and has another one of those dang boxes covering her. What is UNDER there?? I also decide I am scared of her thighs and think they could crush me.
Fast-forward to the group date and because Jimmy thinks these girls need to be able to know how to work on a farm, he puts them through a ho-down throw-down. Basically an obstacle course doing things like shucking corn, to cracking eggs to drinking goat’s milk.
Before the race Jillian tells the camera that no one can beat her and is a flexing beast. During the actual race she is boxed out again, and again, and again and I still wonder what the heck is being covered up?!
Carly tells the camera that she wants to win this race in the worst way in order to be noticed by Chris and does well during the whole thing until she gets to the fence that is housing the pigs. She tries untying the rope for about 38 seconds before Jacked and Tan Jillian comes soaring through and over the entire fence like a BEAST!
Ultimately, Carly wins and she is pretty cute. I liked her effort.
Back at the cocktail hour of the date Carly is feeling mighty confident and pulls him aside right away, sits him down and says, “You are a man. And I am a women, and I just wanted to take advantage.”
And I make angry-face at the TV while she kisses him. It was just almost too hard to watch.
Chris goes on to kiss like ten other women and MacNosie is “so confused!”
She pulls him aside to ask him a blunt question. But before doing so she makes this face…
Probably one of the scariest faces I have ever seen in my life. The Hubby starts to carry on about how if I ever made that face at him, but before he finishes I do just that. And it’s horrifying. And we die of laughter.
And this is the moment we knew she wasn’t going to last much longer.
She says, “so you remember how we kissed? Wait why are you kissing everyone else, too? I just want to know.”
And he stumbles and fumbles over his answer but ultimately says he needs to put himself out there and be who he is.
She goes back to the girls to tell them what she just did and does ANOTHER insane face!
And I can’t help myself!
Becca gets some alone time with him and she hasn’t had a lot of air-time yet with Chris and I like her. As in she might be in my top two. She tells Chris she isn’t going to kiss him because she wants it to be more natural and I like that she did that. I think it is smart. Make him WAIT!
Chris ends up giving the rose to Becca letting her know she sholdn’t feel bad about not kissing him.
Fast-forward to the next one-on-one and it is with Whitbird. While having some wine at a winery they notice a wedding going down in the background and Whitbird decides its a great idea to crash the wedding. Chris is hesitant but ultimately agrees and they come up with their story, change outfits and do just that.
And I think this is so much fun because I once did this myself! Not to this extreme, but just stopped in for maybe 20-30 to another wedding once and got a couple drinks and did some dancing with the mother-of-the-bride out on the dance floor! Good times! You can read about that little snippet here.
Chris really seems to like the spontaneity in Whitbird and tells us he could see her being his wife and then gives her a rose.
Fast-forward back to the house and we learn there is going to be a pool party en lieu of a cocktail party that night.
Ashley on the Block is pissed because she wanted to wear her Kardashian look that night.
We, of course, see more of Jacked and Tan Jillian’s black boxes and we just can;t figure out what is under there!
Juelia then takes the time to pull Chris aside and tell him about her past and the floodgate has been opened. And I can’t stop.
Jade then asks to see Chris’ house and this is the first time we have seen much of Jade. Somehow she ends up flinging herself on his bed wearing stripper heals and I am wondering where the class is, ladies?!
Meanwhile Jacked and Tan Jillian sneaks out of the mansion and is waiting for Chris in the hot tub while the other two make out on his bed.
And this is when we also notice a weird boob-thing on Jade. Is that her bra? A push-up padded thing? It’s a nude color and has an underwire.
#Embarrassing.
Ashley from the Block gets upset at Jacked and Tan Jillian for not sharing time and you can tell she is just drunk. She pulls him aside, cries in his face and then almost kills him with an over-passionate kiss.
Fast-forward to the rose ceremony and Ashley from the Block is pissed because she apparently told Chris to call out her name in the beginning, but instead he calls it LAST.
GOOD!
She is relieved and will hopefully just stop it.
And that is a wrap!
Thanks for stopping by!
