Mmmmk. So last week ABC decided to grace us with TWO, TWO-HOUR episodes meaning you will get the first today, and the second tomorrow.
This episode is a fun one and begins with a one-on-one date with Nick and they have a “normal” date in Santa Barbara where the show has shifted to. They ride bikes, frolic on the beach and go on a hike. Boring. Well, not boring to DO, but boring to watch someone else do. Cameras are strapped to the front of the bikes looking up and I couldn’t think of a worse angle to be filmed at. Though Andi still looks good. And she’s in a helmet, too.
Nick says to the camera what a skeptic he is of this process, and then while on the date states how this could be the beginning of the rest of their lives together. #mustbetruelove
During dinner Nick reveals he has been engaged once before but that it was a very immature relationship. He also reveals that all of his close friends are married, and he is not.
Red flag?
Maybe. Probably.
Their date is rather “Meh” and she gives him the rose.
Fast-forward to the group date and we learn the men are singing with Boys II Men. Now, it’s been many-a-year since I’ve grooved to these boys… Er.. Men.. But they do bring back some nostalgic childhood sleepover memories while listening to young boys dedicating “I’ll Make Love to You” to their thirteen-year-old forever-loves on Delilah.
And I start to like Black-Eyed Brian more when he says “Boys II Men! They made me fall in love in 7th and 8th grade so many times over again!”
Once they discover they will be singing, BraHHHHHdley immediately jumps at the opportunity to show off his voice by singing the infamous “I’ll Make Love to You” and it’s just not right. Just not right.
In fact, it is flat out WRONG with most of the men. Andi also can’t carry a tune, and we now know she can’t dance (clearly shown in Juan Pablo’s season), she can’t snowboard, she can’t sing….
Maybe she can…..cook?? Maybe the girl can cook. Let’s hope for that.
The men perform with Boys II Men and then sing “I’ll Make Love to You” in front of a live audience and BraHHHHhdley begins the medley by belting his opera tune accompanied by a serious stance and closed eyes and Marquel thinks he’s McRapster Funky Flesh as he slides and glides across the stage with his eyes closed as well. Closed eyes must mean confidence, here.
This is how I imagine myself in such a situation
And little girls across America are unhappy.
The rest either suck really bad but give it their all or just forget their lines and bomb it. Which, to me this would all be horrifying. I can NOT carry a tune. In fact, my family asks me to stop singing. Remember THIS video?
Yeah, it’s still like that.
They are so bad one of the members of Boys II Men says ” If this is any indication as to who she is going to choose, then you may not have one [a winner]on the show, she should just leave by herself.”
Fast-forward to the evening portion of the date and Andi pulls Kiss My Muscles Cody aside to chat with him and pulls a prank on the fellow. She confronts him stating that the other guys told her that has a girlfriend. He seems genuinely shocked and like there’s no way he does, which is good! But, kind-of not so cool on Andi’s part. Thankfully, she reveals it’s a joke early on and they laugh.
Josh Cubin pulls her aside and he is a certified lip vacuum. Gross.
Well, it must have worked because she gives him the group date rose.
Baby Boy Marcus is upset by this but claims there is NO Way Josh Cubin has the kind of connection that he and Andi do and I see a little foreshadowing here…
Fast-forward to the date with JJ, the pantsapreneur, and he shows up wearing blue zebra-striped pants for his one-on-one with Andi.
Their date is to become old people, and I think that is AWESOME! I would LOVE to do this! They keep their looks a secret until the very end and their reactions are amazing. Andi is shocked by how bad JJ I Sew Pants looks and JJ I Sew Pants is impressed how hot Andi is as an old lady.
They go out and about as oldies having people take their pictures and I can’t get over how fun I think this would be. They freak out kids, play catch in the park, ride a carousel and just have a blast together.
My apologies for the not-so-great pictures. I haven’t figured out how to take better ones at my parents’ house yet.
Fast-forward back to the mansion and Ron gets a family emergency phone call. One of his close friends passed away and he needs to go home. So sad. Then, Dylan reveals that he lost both his sister and brother to drugs and it gets even more sad.
Andi calls JJ I Sew Pants weird but that she likes it and gives him a rose, end of scene.
Fast-forward to the cocktail hour and while talking with Jeff the Explorer, Andi receives flowers from Nick V., totally throwing off Eric the Explorer and I feel bad for him because she is smiling ear-to-ear.
Then the mandrama starts up.
JJ I Sew Pants and Josh Cubin confront Andrew about getting a waitresses number while on the show and bragging about it. He stares back with the guiltiest look and then walks away. They chase him questioning his manhood and he finally comes crawling out of his room and agrees that he got a number but that he was GIVEN the number and wasn’t bragging about it. And he is just doused in guilt.
Definite douchebaggery.
Fast-forward to the rose ceremony and she sends home Brett the hairstylist and BraHHHHdley. Which I am bummed because I like saying Brahhhhdley. And then he says he just was’t good enough through tears and I genuinely feel BAD for the guy!
BraHHHHHdley, you will find your mate, chap! Keep your head up! Someone out there is bound to fall for all that opera serenading.
Someone…
End of scene.
So, tomorrow I will recap the second episode which is where even MORE drama takes place.
Thanks for stopping by!
I love these Bachlorette recaps. Thanks for sharing these. You have me laughing out loud.
Ha! Thank you, Acsa! They’re fun to write!