Vegas.
Wow, Vegas…. you really blew me out of the water this past weekend.
As I mentioned toward the end of last week, I went to a bachelorette party this past weekend that was pretty much nonstop….. madness.
I made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare…. because that’s what you have when you are child-free….. time! So I grabbed myself a latte and a bachelor-filled mag and read every. single. word. Every one of them. It seems like it’s been ages since I have done that!
Upon arrival in Vegas a friend picked me up from the airport, one that I hadn’t seen in a few years, and it was awesome catching up as we headed to the hotel.
We stayed at The Jockey Club, which is part of The Cosmopolitan, and after some quick introductions, changing into bathing suits and a round or two of shots, we were out the door.
Alright that isn’t entirely true. Turns out it takes a gaggle of girls quite a bit of time to get ready, but that’s pretty much what happened. Because the girls I was with knew people just about everywhere, we never had to pay to get in….anywhere.
This also resulted in free drinks….. everywhere. I was absolutely blown away at how much alcohol costed at these pool parties. People would buy bottles of alcohol for hundreds of dollars. Hundreds! For a bottle of booze you could get at Costco for $60!
We stayed at the Marquee pool for a couple of hours before going back to the hotel and getting ready for the evening. After a nice dinner out filled with great conversation we had some time to kill…
…which resulted in this.
As you can see, girl on the right is about to take out the crew…
We then went to a strip club. This was not just any strip club, though….
There were female dancers on the first floor… and upstairs…. were the male dancers.
I have never seen anything like it.
My eyeballs were on the verge of popping out of their sockets while I picked my jaw up off the floor as the girls and I made our way to our area. I don’t even want to really paint you a picture as I am still trying to erase it from my memory.
All I will say on this is that males don’t dance on poles; they prefer making bachelorettes blush, or rather, burn with embarrassment. This of course had us all covering our mouths in absolute disbelief while howling with laughter. It was all just so raunchy/disgusting/shocking/hilarious and I realize I am being very vague, but I just can’t get myself to describe what it was like in there knowing my mother is reading this. 🙂 I was pretty tired by 11:30 and we made it back to the hotel by 1:00, so I would consider that a win compared to what it could have been.
The next day we got ready and went to Wet Republic, another pool party, though this one was much larger and IN-SANE! For example, if one ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon, a male worker carried a female worker (who was holding the Dom in the air) on his shoulders while he blasted a siren for all to hear. Meanwhile, girls surrounded them on either side spraying champagne out into the crowd as they all pranced over to the cabana where the booze was ordered. Another example; the guys at the table next to us made it rain. As in, threw stacks of dollar bills into the air for whomever to pick up. HUNDREDS of dollars! Luckily, they flew right into the hands of some of the girls in our group.
This place was just all around insanity.
More free alcohol and food, and by the end of that day some of the girls in our group were… let’s just say they were having more fun. 😉
A few of the girls and I went back to the hotel to rest up before the night began, and once the rest of the group came back we headed out to dinner at Cabo Wabo and then took a limo to Tao night club.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by what I saw in Vegas, but once inside the club and settled into our area, I noticed two vixen/worker girls caressing themselves in a bathtub barely filled with any water, wearing only the smallest g-string undies and nipple stickers. I just couldn’t stop staring.
Fascinating.
I kept wondering if their mothers knew what they did at night, what they looked like/did in their “normal” every-day lives and if that puddle of water was cold that they were sitting in.
And no, they wouldn’t let me feel. The puddle, that is.
We danced the night away, and we ended up leaving the club in waves. I managed to convince a few girls to go back to the hotel around 1:30 as I was BEAT, though pretty proud of myself for making it that long.
I slept in until about 9:30 (the longest I have slept-in in years!) and I basically rinsed off, said my goodbyes and took a cab to the airport.
The weekend was fun, crazy, nonstop, tiring, hilarious and the furthest from my reality that I could have imagined. I was glad to be going home as I barely kept up as it was, though I had a great time catching up with some old friends and not having anyone else to worry about except for myself. For the most part. 😉
I missed my family throughout the trip and you will never guess what The Hubby did while I was gone….
It may have even made my jaw drop lower than the strippers….
Stay tuned tomorrow to find out! 🙂
