{"id":5524,"date":"2014-01-27T06:59:03","date_gmt":"2014-01-27T14:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ladyslittleloves.com\/?p=5524"},"modified":"2018-12-09T17:53:41","modified_gmt":"2018-12-09T17:53:41","slug":"cry-get-rose-lesson-learned-bach-recap-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/livingwithlady.com\/2014\/01\/cry-get-rose-lesson-learned-bach-recap-3.html","title":{"rendered":"A Whole Lotta Awkward- Bachelor Recap #3"},"content":{"rendered":"
Hello! <\/a><\/p>\n It’s a water car. This actually looks like it would be a really fun thing to do and it appears as if they thoroughly enjoy themselves.<\/p>\n Throughout the date Cassandra makes it very clear that her last date was three years ago (when she got knocked up, she didn’t say so, I just did the math) by telling us so about 62 times. I really think it was 62. \u00a0Source<\/a><\/p>\n <\/a><\/p>\n Source<\/a><\/p>\n <\/a> Source\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/a> Source<\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/a> Source<\/a><\/p>\n It was excruciatingly painful to watch. And I apologize for the play-by-play, but I feel you need to get an accurate depiction of what Sharleen is all about. \u00a0At the very least, the girl’s dress has an amazing cutout. Hello! Here we are with week three’s recap of The Bachelor. It’s about to get awkward up in hee-ya! Cassandra gets the first one-on-one date card. She’s the 21-year-old mama to an almost 2-year-old, just to refresh your brains. JuanPabs introduces Cassandra to a pretty unique car in which she thinks they are going off-roading […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5615,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nHere we are with week three’s recap of The Bachelor. It’s about to get awkward up in hee-ya!
\nCassandra gets the first one-on-one date card. She’s the 21-year-old mama to an almost 2-year-old, just to refresh your brains.
\nJuanPabs introduces Cassandra to a pretty unique car in which she thinks they are going off-roading in. \u00a0They start driving along with the wind in their hair… when all of the sudden JuanPabs starts to drive off the road…
\n<\/a>
\nAnd keeps going, straight into the water.<\/p>\n
\nFast-forward back to the mansion<\/em> and Elise and Sweet Mama Renee are on the couch chatting about how Elise’s mom passed away about a year ago. She revealed to Renee that her mom left a letter about how she wanted her daughter to find love on The Bachelor and she and Sweet Mama Renee hug over it.
\nSigh. What aspirations.
\nFast forward back to the date<\/em> and JuanPabs and Cassandra pull up to a yacht in their water car and quickly strip down to their suits.
\nThis is when I think, “Damn you, Cassandra for having that bod after a baby! I guess that’s what happens when \u00a0you get prego so young? Meh. In my next life. Kidding. That sounds horrid.
\nAnyway, then, before jumping into the water from maybe…. eight feet? Cassandra says “I think I am just going to trust him and jump in….”
\n<\/a>
\nAnd I wonder, what does jumping off the side of a yacht have to do with trust? Did he promise you a shark wouldn’t bite your toes? Did he promise you wouldn’t get water up your nose? What?
\nRidic.
\nJuanPabs then takes Cassandra back to the house he is staying at and cooks a romantic meal for her. He then says he wants to make her feel more comfortable since she looks nervous and decides bumping and grinding to Hispanic music is the key.
\n<\/a>
\n
\nAnd that just made me blush.
\nJuanPabs and Cassandra have dinner outside and in a personal interview says “Daaaaayyyaaaam, Cassandra is beautiful.” \u00a0And then they oochie oochie goo goo over kid pictures before he gives her a rose and makes out with her in the bushes.
\n<\/a>
\nI am beginning to think J-Pabs is a man whore.
\nFast-forward<\/em> back at the mansion and the second date card is revealed and it is a group date. The girls get as sporty as they possibly can and meet J-Pabs on the field where he is showing off his skills.
\n<\/a>
\nThe obvious is revealed that the girls are going to be playing soccer and some girls break into a sweat and others can’t wait to beat some ass.
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the mansion and Elise does some major crap talking about how child-like Chelsea is, as one of the two of them are sure to get the next one-on-one date.
\n<\/a>
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the group date and the girls start playing soccer against one another, split into two teams.
\nI was actually a little surprised by this game as they weren’t all complete duds! Except for the first play when they let the ball just roll on into the goal. DIVE for that ball, ladies! Come on, now!
\n<\/a>
\n
\nGirls are taking balls to the face, bouncing balls off their chests, and were actually getting after it. The red team is kicking butt, so J-Pabs decides to help the blue team out and the girls’ mouths drop to the ground in admiration.
\n<\/a>
\nAfter soccer the girls get gussied up and J-Pabs spends some time with each girl individually. He chats with a few like a normal person would and then takes Andi behind the snack bar for some lip-locking action. That’s all they did. Make-out.
\n<\/a>
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the \u00a0mansion and the new date card arrives. Elise is certain the date is going to be with her since Chelsea “seems like a baby” and would never make a good step-mom. \u00a0They reveal that the date is actually with Chelsea and she looks like she wants to slit Chelsea’s throat.
\n<\/a>
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the group date and JuanPabs takes Sharleen onto the field. And then we see one of the<\/em> most. awkward. semi-kisses EVER.
\nEVER!!!!
\n<\/a>
\n
\n<\/a>
\n<\/p>\n
\n<\/a><\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>\n
\n<\/a>
\nThe rest of the girls spy on them kissing and Andi is upset since she had just locked lips with The Pabs.
\nAt the end of the night J-Pabs gives a rose to Nikki (the pediatric nurse) for\u00a0opening up to him which royally pisses off Andi and Sharleen, the two girls who practically swapped spit with each other.
\nAndi says…
\n<\/a>
\nAnd Sharleen says…
\n<\/a>
\nGIRLS!!! YOU KNEW WHAT THIS SHOW WAS ABOUT! HUHLOW!
\nFast-forward<\/em> to the one-on-one date with Chelsea and while the two of them take a drive to their destination, J-Pabs tries to swoon Chelsea with more of his Hispanic music and Chelsea tries to show how go-with-the-flow she is by rocking out to music she can’t understand. I give her props for trying.
\n<\/a>
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the mansion and once again, Elise is talking Shmack. She says “I don’t think she is a woman. She is a little girl. I’m not worried because she will end up going home.”
\n<\/a>
\nFast-forward<\/em> back to the date and J-Pabs takes Chelsea to a Venezuelan restaurant and feeds her a bunch of food that she’s probably hoping doesn’t follow up with some bikini time. \u00a0I don’t know, sometimes new food leaves me bloated and gassy and ain’t no one find that sexy.
\n<\/a>
\nJ-Pabs then tries to make Chelsea spew her food by taking her tandem bungee jumping off a bridge.
\n<\/a>
\nChelsea squeals, shakes, cries and whines a whole lot for about… sheesh I don’t even know how long.I sortof wanted to push her off the edge and was hoping J-Pabs would have just done it himself. “Trust me now, Chels?!”
\nHe keeps reassuring her that she can trust him but that if she doesn’t want to jump she doesn’t have to. Again, what does this have to do with trusting HIM? Can he prevent the line from breaking? Can he break her fall if it does?
\nYeah, no. So enough with trust talk, J-Pabs.
\nThey ultimately jump together. And then share an upside down kiss.\u00a0I just can’t picture how this would be “sexy.” Gravity is just pulling things around all wrong.
\n<\/a>
\n
\nDuring dinner Chelsea reveals she’s the black sheep of the family because she didn’t become a doctor or lawyer, but instead a teacher. Chelsea is a giggling goat during all of dinner and JuanPabs finds this charming for some reason and gives her a rose.
\nAND THEN! GASP!!! Stop it!! NO WAY!!!
\n<\/a>
\nMUSIC starts playing out of nowhere…. JUST LIKE LAST WEEK! Say it isn’t so!!!
\nSomehow Chelsea knows who the band is (does anyone ever know these bands??) and they dance just like he did the previous week with Clare.
\nFast-forward<\/em> to the next morning and JuanPabs surprises the girls by going to the mansion early and making them breakfast. He wants to see them in their “true beauty” form. Kelly is the first one to hobble downstairs and she is mortified. She claims her grandma taught her to “never let a man see you without your face on.”
\n<\/a>
\nRenee, though, comes down fresh out of bed and I give her props for not caring, even giving J-Pabs a nice morning-mouth hello hug.
\n<\/a>
\nWord gets out that JuanPabs is at the mansion and it is CLEAR which girls would not let JuanPabs see them without their makeup on.
\n<\/a>
\nNo bueno.
\nWe then learn the evening cocktail party is cancelled and instead they are going to have a pool party.\u00a0JuanPabs just wants to see each of them in their bikinis before making his next decision. He didn’t say this, it’s just a given. \u00a0The claws start to come out a bit and\u00a0Kat \u00a0says “It’s definitely every woman for herself… I am going to make sure I position myself well…”
\nAnd she does.
\n<\/a>
\nPlease, someone chime in, does Kat have fake boobs? Or are they real? If they’re real, she’s no longer on my top list.
\nSharleen then tries taking the high road by saying this totally isn’t her element and that other girls’ idea of fun is different than her own. THEN she pulls a sneak attack. I’m \u00a0telling you, this girl is devious. Sneaky Sharleen pulls JuanPabs aside and claims to feel all Awkward Amanda about being in front of the cameras and cries in his shoulder so that he comforts her.
\n<\/a>
\nShe remembers that the last time Cassandra did this, she was the first one to get a rose and is playing the same card. She then forgets about ol’ Awkward Amanda and decides this is prime time to seal the deal with a kiss. Apparently those cameras aren’t so bad now, are they Amanda?!
\n<\/a>
\n
\n<\/a>
\nThe girls spot the make-out sesh which just about sends Clare to the kooky bin.\u00a0She goes inside to cry and of course, Sweet Mama Renee comes to the rescue.
\nBecause she cried, Clare then gets some on-on-one time with JuanPabs and claims that she’s not jealous of the other girls but that she just wishes it were her with him, instead.
\n<\/a>
\nIsn’t that the definition of jealousy?
\nHumph.
\nThis is when I think \u00a0that it would be ABSOLUTELY miserable to be the bachelor. Can you imagine having to deal with 27 women and their emotional madness?
\nIt just sounds awful!
\nFast-forward<\/em> to the rose ceremony and nothing all that exciting happens. The two girls sent home are Lucy and Christy.
\nChristy cries about going home and wipes off her spray tan.
\n<\/a>
\nLucy cries about going home, but I think it’s really because she no longer gets to walk around as Nudey Lucy.
\n<\/a>
\nShe walked in barefoot, and she leaves barefoot.
\n<\/a>
\n
\nShe gone.
\nAnd that’s that!
\n****************
\nNow, about the Bachelor League…
\nMy previous Top 5 Girls were
\nKat
\nNicci
\nClare
\nRenee
\nAndi
\nThis week we are to put them \u00a0in order.
\nAy yi yi. I just don’t know!\u00a0Okay.
\n1. Nikki
\n2. Clare
\n3. Renee
\n4. Andi
\n5. Kat
\nWho do you think “wins” the heart of The Pabs?
\nThanks for stopping by!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"